Monkey business
by MyLadyDay
Summary: Working at a Zoo is not how Ace had expected it to be and everything always seems to be the monkey's fault. AU, most of them are animals and no pairings because this is about the animals XD
1. Chapter 1

**Beta'd by Aerle ^^**

**So this is not a pairing fic. This is about the animals xD Also, I know Oda did say which animal every character would be, but I didn't go with that.**

"Lose something?"

The voice startled him and he jumped before turning towards an amused looking Marco with the ever present green parrot on his shoulder.

"Uhm... no..." Ace replied, his eyes shifting in a way that so obviously answered Marco's question. "What makes you think that?" he asked and kept glancing around, never stopping his search; even if he didn't lose anything. Marco just watched Ace fidget in place, nervously glancing around and looking generally unable to stay still.

"Well, aside from your suspicious behavior..." Marco started, "I found a monkey bothering one of the female ara parrots," he finished and smirked as relief washed over his younger coworker when the small capuchin monkey popped up on his blond head. The little thing seemed to have a knack for dramatics, holding on to the back of Marco's shirt until the blond announced him. Even the parrot on his shoulder started cooing loudly at the monkey, growing agitated as Ace leapt forward and snatched the monkey from his post.

"Luffy!" Ace yelled, hugging the monkey before letting it climb onto his head. Marco still observed with amusement, ready to tease the younger man for naming the mischievous new addition placed under Ace's care, when the parrot flew from his shoulder towards the monkey in a flurry of green feathers.

"Bart!" Marco jumped after him, but stopped abruptly as the bird settled on the startled freckle-faced zookeeper's shoulder and cuddled its head into the monkey.

"Bart?" Ace asked with a snort, looking ready to tease the older man with this bit of information he was graced with.

"Luffy?" Marco said with a tilt of his head, his voice flat as he looked at the other with boredom written on his face. Two could play that game. Even if it was an unwritten rule that the zookeepers named the animals in their care, it was still funny as hell when the others heard about it.

Ace lifted his hands in surrender, deciding to drop the topic; if Marco ever found out he named the gorilla Franky, he'd never hear the end of it.

"So what's with Bart?" he asked instead, putting an emphasis on the bird's name. It was a funny name for a bird.

"I don't know," Marco replied. "Never mind that, how did you lose the monkey in the first place?"

Ace averted his eyes, not knowing how he should say it without it sounding like he got outsmarted by a monkey. Which, basically, he did.

"He keeps getting out," he said at last. "I don't know how! I thought Rob fed him to his cats this time for sure!" he added and his tone made both animals on him a bit restless.

"Why on earth would Rob feed him to the cats?" Sure, the man in charge of the big cats was anything but cheery and friendly, but he wouldn't feed other animals from the zoo to his cats. Probably.

"He hates Luffy!" Ace protested. "Probably because he keeps disturbing that Siberian tiger, but I think he just wants to be friends," he finished with an affectionate scratch of the monkeys head.

"You let him go into a tiger cage?" Marco asked, his voice laced with disbelief. "The big scary tiger that no one other than Lucci wants to approach? The one with the scar on his eye that no one knows how he got it?"

"Yeah, that one," Ace replied like it was the most normal thing in the world. With a caretaker like that, the monkey's bound to get mauled by a predator in the zoo, Marco was sure of it.

"You should probably just keep him in the cage," the blond said, hoping no one would get eaten.

**I'm not gonna kill Luffy xD**

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Beta'd by Aerle. **

**Amanda requested this xD I think that pretty much sums it up, both the content and the length of the chapter.**

Marco couldn't believe it. It hadn't even been two days since he pretty much laughed at Ace for losing a monkey and what did he do? He lost one of his own animals. It must have been a curse or something since the whole losing animals affair started only a short while before and the cause had yet to be discovered. Still, he had to finish his search before anyone, mainly Ace, notice he even lost a bird. It was luck that the volunteers weren't there yet to notice anything and hopefully he'd find the damn bird before anyone, again mostly Ace, could catch wind of his misfortune.

But no matter where he looked, there was nothing. Really, how does one lose an animal at the Zoo? Well, Ace would know... Speaking of, the freckled man was sitting at the staff room table, drinking coffee after feeding his own animals. Marco was so painfully aware he wouldn't be able to reach the security room without catching the other's attention, leaving him with two options. He'd either give up on his search and hope for the best or he'd ask Ace for help. With the size of the Zoo and the short time they had before opening for visitors, the second option started to seem like a good idea.

"Yo, pineapple," Ace spoke and even with the annoying nickname, Marco decided to ask for help. "What's up?"

"I..." he started, but damn it if his pride would let him just admit off the bat that he lost one of his precious birds. Still, he sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, readying himself for the upcoming teasing. "I lost Sanji."

Ace looked at him with confusion for a moment and Marco could almost feel the laughter coming. He was wrong, for once, though. "The hell is a Sanji?" Ace asked and Marco all but face palmed. He didn't expect he'd have to explain in great detail how he lost Sanji in the first place, no matter that he didn't even know.

"It's a Chinese duck and he's not in his habitat," Marco said and watched as it dawned on Ace, his lips stretching into a grin. The bastard was enjoying it too much.

"You lost... a duck." It wasn't exactly a question, but Ace didn't seem to manage wrapping his mind around the idea. "A duck," he mumbled before bursting into a fit of laughter, tears making their way from his eyes as he clutched his stomach.

Marco would never in his life admit he actually blushed, but he was well aware that he did in fact do so. It was embarrassing to say the least, because let's face it; who the hell loses a duck?! Not just any duck, his favorite bird under his care. He might carry Bart on his shoulder all day, but Sanji was always his favorite. That duck had attitude.

"Yes, I lost a duck," he admitted out loud as Ace's laughter subsided. "And I really need to find him."

He glanced at the security room door and Ace seemed to get the blond's idea.

"Well, let's go find him then," the younger man said and rose from his chair. Great, Marco thought, he'd have to listen to random jabs about losing a duck for who knew how long. It was just the two of them and whether that was lucky or not, Marco had no idea. Still, they settled in front of the screens and pulled up the footage from the cameras around the bird enclosure. The Chinese ducks had their own little pond they shared with a few specimens of Koi fish and it was surrounded by a fairy low railing, mostly just to keep visitors away from the animals. The birds were so domesticated, they never even tried to escape; which is why Marco couldn't understand what happened.

The screen came to life and the two watched as the ducks did their usual thing, just swimming around; though Sanji seemed to... kick the fish? Okay, that bird really had an attitude. Aside from that, he just followed the females around and quacked at them. Not exactly smooth, Marco thought and chuckled to himself. It had to be a talent to strike out even if he was the only male duck they had.

The footage was hardly exciting or entertaining for almost ten minutes and Ace was ready to give up.

"There's nothing, are you sure he's not there? Maybe your eye sight is getting bad with old ag..." Ace started, but a hit to the back of his head shut him up before he could finish the sentence. Really, calling the blond old. Marco was just about to hit him again when he noticed a different kind of movement on the screen.

With fast movements, almost like a trot, a monkey was approaching the railing. It didn't take long for the both of them to recognize the monkey in question. Ace's face betrayed his thoughts, assuming his thoughts were something along the line of "oh my God, he's out again" as Marco watched Luffy jump on the railing and observe the animals in the pond. It was suspicious behavior, if you could call a monkey suspicious and his distrust was proven right as it took only a short moment for the monkey to jump on the ground just beside the water.

The only word to describe Marco's emotions in that moment was dread, but he was frozen in place as they both watched the duck on screen approach the shore and the monkey sitting there. Marco just knew something weird would happen, really, why would things even be normal anymore?

As if on cue, the monkey reached out and grabbed the little duck. Neither of the zookeepers could believe their eyes as they watched a little capuchin monkey tuck a fairly annoyed looking equally small duck under his arm before he started waddling away from the pond. In all his years working at the Zoo, Marco never saw anything like this before. A monkey stole his duck...

"Your monkey stole my duck!" he exclaimed accusingly when his wits returned, but before Ace could snap out of his own daze, Marco checked the time on the recording and urged the younger man to find other footage to see where the monkey went with his poor duck. It only happened an hour before and they could probably track them.

Doing as he was told, Ace went through the cameras around the bird enclosure and pulled them all up on the screens. It didn't take long to locate a waddling monkey carrying a duck. It was extremely hilarious, really, or at least it would have been if Marco wasn't as worried. The recordings were already an hour old and Sanji was still missing. Still in the bird part of the Zoo, Luffy carried a struggling Sanji over to the parrot cage and stopped. Marco could see Bart and Nami approach the bars and peer out at their visitors. Now, if Marco hadn't seen the strange recording, he would never believe it, but he felt as if he were watching a strange version of The Lion King; the monkey stopped before the cage, the duck still struggling in his grasp, but Luffy managed to grab Sanji successfully over his wings so the poor duck couldn't struggle before lifting the bird over his head to... show him to the parrots? That was seriously the weirdest monkey Marco had ever seen.

Things only turned weirder as they watched the footage from the previous hour, observing as the monkey, with the duck in his tiny hands, walked around the zoo and showed Sanji to a seemingly random choice of animals. Going to the monkey habitat and showing him to a gorilla might have seemed normal, even if said gorilla struck a strange pose at that, but when they located the two runaways amongst the reindeer, things were just confusing.

The last footage they watched was taken a mere five minutes earlier and the sense of dread made its way to Marco's chest as they watched the monkey walk right into the big cat enclosure. Ace visibly paled and Marco gripped his shoulder before speaking.

"He's gonna feed my duck to the cats," he said before his grip tightened and his eyes narrowed. "Your damn monkey's gonna feed my duck to the cats!" This time he let go and hurried out the door, another set of footsteps following him through the Zoo. The cat enclosure wasn't really close and they ran as fast as they could, even if they knew that approaching the cats was a bad idea if Lucci wasn't there. Speaking of Lucci, he might be a bit mad if he found intruders bothering his cats again. Clearly, he wasn't an option; the man would probably just let one of his predators eat both the monkey and the duck.

Luck didn't seem to be on their side as they reached the big lion sign at the beginning of the so called cat walk and found Rob standing there with his eyes narrow.

"How ever did you know I was just about to call you two?" he asked, his voice cold as ice and Marco had to admit, at least to himself, that he really didn't want to be close to the man in their current situation. "There's something I think you both need to see," he told them before either could reply, making his way through the habitats right away, motioning for them to follow. The animals were both dead most likely and Rob did not look the slightest bit remorseful. He led them straight to the tiger pit, a big habitat reserved for their sole Siberian tiger with a railing separating the visitors from the lowered space where the cat resided.

Marco was adamant to look, fearing that he'd see poor Sanji in the tiger's jaws. Ace looked equally sad, tears already glistening in his eyes.

"I suggest you look at this. I entirely blame the monkey, by the way," Lucci said in the same tone of voice and Ace was about to protest, but couldn't find the strength and he just peered over the railing.

Again, Marco was surprised and that might even be an understatement. He saw Sanji, alright, quacking and pecking at the tiger's ear and the cat was... purring? Fear stung him once again as the beast lifted a big heavy paw over the extremely tiny duck only to poke at it for a moment so the little guy tipped over, the tiger purring once again as he watched Sanji wiggle back to his feet only to quack louder and peck at the paw. It took Marco another moment to notice the monkey as well; perched on the tiger's side, picking through his thick fur only to eat the fleas he found there. Luffy almost fell off the cat when the beast lifted a paw, but the managed to hold on and, if Marco saw right, actually glared at the cat.

"Wha...?" Ace tried to ask, this time tears of joy in his eyes because at least Luffy was alive.

"I have no idea, but it's all the monkey's fault and we can't get them out of there," Lucci said and he was clearly pissed off. "Zoro won't let us get anywhere near the duck," he added, his voice faltering the tiniest bit as he revealed the tiger's name. Marco couldn't help the chuckle, but stopped as soon as the raven haired keeper glared at him.

"Luffy!" Ace called and the monkey immediately made his way through the habitat, the cat never even bothering with him. The monkey was soon perched on Ace's head and Lucci glared daggers at the animal, trying hard not to just strangle the little bastard.

Marco tried the same approach, calling Sanji's name, but the duck just quacked quietly as a paw covered him and the blond was really ready to have a heart attack. The paw moved closer to the cats body and they were all sure the little bird was squished; Lucci may or may not have looked pleased just a bit.

A louder, almost angry sounding quack reached them as the duck's tiny head peeked out from all that fur and Marco could swear Sanji glared at the tiger before pecking furiously at the paw. Still, he made no attempt to move from the cat and the cat had no intention of letting him go if the extremely loud purring was any indication.

"I guess I have to leave him here," Marco finally said, still as confused as he was an hour before.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Beta'd by Aerle ^^**

**I got several requests to do the animal POV, but regrettably I probably won't. I might change my mind, but probably not since that wasn't my intention.**

Even if he had watched that monkey carry his duck away, Marco had hardly expected the little beast to actually bring Sanji back. He didn't trust the monkey in the slightest, not after seeing what he was capable of, but it was nice of him to bring the duck back. If only Marco could catch the little guy and return him to Ace, things would be better. Still, as small as the monkey was, the blond had a hard time getting close enough to actually catch him. If monkeys could laugh, and at the moment he wasn't completely sure they couldn't, the little bastard would be laughing.

With several more evasive maneuvers, Luffy dodged the blond zookeeper and disappeared into the bushes. Well, that did not go as expected, but Marco could see how Ace managed to lose the little animal all the time. He was apparently smarter than he looked.

Still, after the duck incident, the number of monkey sightings around the zoo went up a lot in just 24 hours, and Marco was compelled to just sit by the monitors for a day. He was sure nothing would surprise him anymore, but he still feared for his birds. Luffy was inclined to liberate random animals and let them roam the zoo as well. Needless to say, most of the zookeepers were counting their lucky stars that none of the predators were set free yet.

Well, with the trouble making monkey on the loose, Marco knew he needed to let Ace know. The younger zookeeper would still worry about the little guy every time and the blond couldn't really blame him. Lucci was far from amused ever since the incident and couldn't wait to kick Sanji out of the tiger's habitat. He claimed it was only from the tiger habitat, but Marco still held suspicions about the other man's intentions towards his duck. Damn duck. Marco was paranoid every morning before feeding time; he always expected to have a bird missing.

Working at a zoo was turning out to be more stressful than he had expected. With a sigh, Marco started walking towards Ace's workplace, blaming the younger man because his monkey was a menace.

* * *

Of course Ace lost the monkey again. Really, why would he even stay in his cage? No matter what he did, Luffy would not stay with the others for long. Which, in itself, wasn't an issue. The problem was with Luffy's habit of playing with the most dangerous animals in the zoo. Even if the tiger turned out to be harmless, at least to Luffy and the duck, that crocodile wasn't really happy to see the little guy. Even with a ridiculous name like Sir Croc, the crocodile was still huge and dangerous. He, for one, didn't seem to like Luffy much. Except maybe as brunch.

Still pitying himself and the monkey to some extent, Ace was brooding all over the zoo in an attempt to find Luffy. Ace was banned from Lucci's domain, not that he even wanted to go anywhere near the guy since his hatred extended from just Luffy to Ace, Marco and an innocent duck as well. Well, the duck's innocence was something shrouded in mystery, but he certainly didn't do anything to piss the cat keeper off. That was all Luffy's doing.

It wasn't exactly a lucky turn of events when Lucci, a very pissed one at that, was making his way toward Ace. With, of course, Luffy dangling from his hand. He would have been afraid of the man had it not been for his confusion.

"Did you put a hat on my monkey?" Ace asked, trying hard to suppress the laughter bubbling in his chest at the image of a grumpy Lucci trying to put a tiny straw hat on the restless monkey's head.

"I did not put a hat on him," the raven haired man said and Ace stilled immediately; he did not sound amused. "He was trying to dump a chameleon into Zoro's habitat," he added and opened his other hand, revealing a terrified looking lizard. "I think this pest might be a psychopath," Lucci finished as he dumped Luffy into Ace's hands followed by the little suspiciously still lizard before stomping away.

Confusion soon made way for intrigue as Ace got to observe his little trouble maker. Well, not as much him as his new hat. The tiny straw hat with a red ribbon attached to his head looked strangely familiar, yet Ace couldn't quite put his finger on it. It didn't matter, anyway, he figured he'd remove it after taking the catatonic chameleon to the vet office for a checkup. It was funny, he didn't even know they had any chameleons.

He was already walking to the veterinarian station when it hit him; Shanks wore a straw hat all the time! The same, except bigger, as the one currently on Luffy's head. Ace did have to admit, it looked adorable on the little guy. The lizard still wasn't moving, though, so he hurried and hope Shanks could help the petrified animal.

As soon as he entered the office, Ace was met with a bout of laughter.

"Stylish monkey you got there," Shanks said from his chair. Ace couldn't help it, the vet's laughter was contagious and he laughed as well because frankly, Luffy looked awesome with it.

"You gave him the hat, didn't you?" he asked and sat opposite the redhead.

"He asked for it," the vet replied with a shrug.

"Really, you're claiming that a monkey asked for a straw hat?"

"Well, he stole mine first," Shanks replied before laughing again. "It was too big for him so I found him a little one."

Ace laughed again before remembering why he was there anyway.

"I'm here because Luffy tried to throw this little guy into the tiger's habitat," he started, placing the lizard on the desk in front of the vet who immediately turned serious. "I didn't see him move since Rob gave him to me. Didn't even know we had chameleons here."

One glance at the lizard was enough for Shanks to sigh and take the still chameleon into his hand. "I see you found the legendary Usopp," Shanks laughed as Luffy lowered himself from Ace's shoulder and settled next to the chameleon, prodding him on occasion. "The mystery of the zoo."

"The what?" Ace asked; the zoo was getting weirder every day he worked there.

"Usopp the Legendary. This little guy right here," the vet said as he lifted the little lizard in his hand. "No wonder Luffy likes him, they're kindred spirits," he finished with a laugh, causing the chameleon to stir and slightly change color.

"Why is he so legendary?" Ace asked, confused as to why no one mentioned him before. Shanks only laughed and handed the lizard over into the monkey's waiting hands.

"You have to find out yourself, so I'm leaving him in your care," Shanks said and, handing Luffy over, shooed them out.

Well, clearly he would have to find out. With Luffy in his arms, Ace started his quest.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**There you go. Next one might be up sooner, but I can't make any promises because real life is beating the shit out of me.**

**Beta'd by Aerle**

With Luffy on his shoulder and the still catatonic chameleon in the monkey's tiny hands, Ace ventured into the growing crowd of the Zoo. First, though, he should return the lizard to Drake in the reptile house; if anyone could take good care of the little guy, it would be the Zoo's lizard man. Slowly, he progressed through the Zoo with a monkey on his shoulder, but still checking if the lizard was awake yet. They made it through half the Zoo before the chameleon stirred, though Ace was more than a little surprised at how it happened.

It all happened in a flash. Luffy jumped up on his shoulder, making sounds that could only mean trouble. Ace turned his head, part curious, part afraid of what he' see. He only managed to get a quick glance at the monkey and what looked like a devious gleam in his eyes before the lizard was launched into the distance. With mortified fascination, Ace observed as the chameleon tore through the air with his little legs flailing about. Well, at least the little guy was finally awake.

Usopp's flight came to an abrupt end when it made first contact with a head; a female head full of blond hair. Ace thought he was dreaming for a moment, his mouth slightly agape as a shrill scream sounded through the area. The blond girl screamed as the little chameleon clung to her hair for dear life and Ace was briefly reminded of Rapunzel and her tiny chameleon friend before he came back to his senses. More accurately, Luffy's flailing and enthusiastic jumping brought him back to the present and, really, he should have seen it coming.

Before he could really react, Luffy pounced from his shoulder and rather skillfully made his way towards the poor girl and the stranded lizard. Ace already saw the disaster before it even happened. Luffy landed on the girl's shoulder, making her scream even louder. Poor girl looked completely confused and terrified, Ace noticed.

It hardly helped when Luffy, to Ace's utmost terror, grabbed Usopp and proceeded to pull in an attempt to free him from the clutches of blond, yet no longer smooth hair. Ace wasn't the only one observing the spectacle, plenty of bystanders now gathered around the girl, yet no one tried to help. Finally, the zookeeper realized he wasn't exactly helping either.

The girl looked as if she were about to cry from utter misery by the time Ace started moving, but he was a few feet away when, to everyone's surprise, Luffy managed to dislodge the lizard from the strand of hair he was clinging to. Ace's relief lasted for a bare moment as the next thing his monkey did was to jump to the next person and then the next, fleeing the scene by using visitors as a bridge. The animals surrounding them were all excited, seemingly cheering for the runaway monkey.

Still, he had more common sense than he had displayed before.

"Are you alright?" he asked the victim of Usopp's attack. She looked at him, slightly shaken up, but no longer looking like she was about to burst in tears. It only took him a moment to recognize her as one of the volunteers when she didn't have a monkey and a lizard nesting in her hair.

"I'm okay, thanks," she replied while trying to fix the mess those two made of her hair. "What was that?"

"Well, uhm..." Ace started, not quite sure as to how he's supposed to explain what happened. It sounded ridiculous even to him and he did see the whole thing. "Luffy launched a chameleon into the air and he landed on your head."

"Chameleon? But there are no..." she started, but stopped speaking as a look of understanding took over. "Oh, it was Usopp, wasn't it?" the blonde asked, her face graced with a smile with none of the previous panic left behind.

Ace, however, was confused. Everyone seemed to know the lizard and he had no idea what was happening or why the chameleon was so famous. "I think that's his name, yeah. How do you know him?"

She smiled and Ace was surprised for a moment; after all, not even five minutes ago, she was screaming bloody murder in the middle of the Zoo. "I found him by accident when I started volunteering here and after that he always found me when I was here," she started with a fond smile on her face. "I took him to Shanks so he told me about the Legendary Usopp," she giggled at the memory. "If I had known it was him, I wouldn't have screamed like that. He gets scared easily."

"Yeah, I noticed," Ace answered, his mind lost in thought about why everyone said Usopp was legendary.

"Oh, I didn't introduce myself," the girl stated and Ace looked up, noticing a faint blush. "I'm Kaya."

"Ace," he replied, taking her hand in a brief handshake. "Well, I should go track those two down before they get into trouble," he told her with an unintentional cringe before saying his goodbye.

"Usopp likes to hide in the trees next to the koi pond," Kaya called after him and Ace nodded in thanks, hoping the two were anywhere but the pond; after all, that was deep into Marco's territory and he really didn't need the blond finding out about the new set of trouble Luffy managed to get himself into.

Seeing as the day started bad for him, Ace really should have expected the worst even before it had happened. He hadn't, however, too preoccupied with his quest of finding a really small monkey and an even smaller lizard that wasn't even supposed to be on the grounds. So when he ran smack into an unnecessarily hard chest, Ace was taken by surprise.

"Why are you disturbing the ducks?" Marco asked, looking down at him with a scowl.

"What is your deal with the ducks, dude?" Ace asked, really wondering at this point. The blond really had a weird affinity for his ducks. Said blond actually blushed a bit or so Ace thought he saw, but would never mention out loud for fear for his life.

"I don't have a deal with the ducks and you didn't answer me," he replied, back to his stoic self.

"I was just... on a walk," Ace said, the shifting of his eyes may or may not have been obvious to the other. "I'm leaving now, though, so I'll see you later."

He tried to run away, but of course the blond wasn't buying his excuse, following after him immediately. Figuring Luffy would be okay on his own for a bit longer, seeing as he spent more time out of his habitat than in it, Ace decided to play it cool and return to his post. After all, his constant search for Luffy kept him away from the other animals in his care. Marco trailed silently after him, his eyes still narrow in suspicion during the whole walk to the primate's part of the Zoo.

Ace heard Luffy's distinct enthusiastic voice before he even saw the little bugger, hurrying to the gorilla's cage where the sounds were coming from. He could hear Marco hurry as well, keeping on his heels the whole time.

As soon as the habitat of Franky the gorilla came into sight, Ace stopped dead in his tracks, Marco coming to a stop right beside him. They both observed as Luffy hung on the outside of the cage, doing what would have been laughing if he were human, while watching the mean looking gorilla strike his already signature pose.

"Is that a lizard on the gorilla's head?" Marco asked, his voice laced with disbelief and all Ace could do was nod because, yes, that was a lizard on the gorilla's head.


End file.
